mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
