I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
