Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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