so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
