i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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