..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
