remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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