I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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