I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
