# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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