well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
