guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
