After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize