Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
