is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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