and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
