sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
