my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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