i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
