i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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