Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
