I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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