I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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