capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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