Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Shame is for Republicans.
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