I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
