He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
