what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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