just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
