you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
