ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Two words: nipple clamps
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