stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
