some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
