People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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