NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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