omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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