I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
