so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
