There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
