It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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