But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
