Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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