im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
