Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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