Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
