All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
