My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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