He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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