Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How does it feel to date your dad?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
