I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
