My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
