Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
