The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
