if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize