if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
