we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
