how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
