I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
MIDGETS
????
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
