You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
