I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
