I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
