It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
