i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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