I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
