you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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