Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
