Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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