turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it's great music for shaving your balls
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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