you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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