Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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