im drinking this country out of the recession.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
